Our kids will do what we do...plus a little more.

A Brothers Water Quarrel

The other morning my 5 yr and 2 yr old boys were taking a bath. I was standing nearby getting ready for the day. A look of mischief crept across the 5 yr old's face and with one hand he splashed his little brother right in the eyes. He then sat there smiling as his little brother wiped the water out of his eyes. The 2 yr old with a look of determination began splashing his older brother wildly with both hands and also started throwing the nearby bath toys at him. He then leaned back on both hands and used his legs to kick a soaking continuous splash of water at his older brother. The 5 yr old was surprised at this turn of events and started to cry. He was in need of rescue from his little brother. After calming the splash frenzy I tried to teach my 5 yr old son one of life's lessons. I told him "Your little brother will always do what you do, plus a little more."

Before the words even had left my lips I realized it wasn't just a life lesson for my little boy as a big brother, but it was also a life lesson for me as parent. My kids were going to do what I do, plus a little more. For better or for worse.



My Weaknesses...Plus a Little More
I had several scenarios run through my head about my personal example to them. Whether it was my choice of junk food, my connection to technology, my love of running or my attempts to serve others. I wondered which extreme of me that they would do...plus a little more. There were plenty of things that I was not proud of that I hoped they would not mimic but also many things that I did well that I hoped they would do better than me.

This is not to say that all of children's bad choices are a result of parent choices. As human beings and as "agents to ourselves" we are responsible for our own choices but there is somehow a nondeniable influence and responsibility that also lays at the feet of parents. If we do not teach our children what is right then the sins are on our shoulders.

King Noah's Dad
I reflected on the example of Zeniff the father of the wicked King Noah. Zeniff was actually a really good guy who stood up for what he believed in. He was also a righteous king, So why was his son so extremely wicked? King Noah was so wicked. in fact, that he led an entire people to their near destruction and actually caused them to commit "much sin".

So did the apple fall far from the tree here? Was King Noah completely different from his father or was Zeniff somehow responsible for King Noah's behavior? A friend once pointed out to me that Zeniff by his own admission was "Over zealous to inhert the land of his Fathers." So much that he was blinded to the important things that a king or soon to be king should't be blind to. This over zealousness caused the enslavement of his own people and it is possible that it may have caused a lack of focus in other areas. Although we may never know and it isn't our place to judge others around us we can draw out and ponder information like this from the scriptures. In doing this my friend pondered the question of whether or not Zeniff's overzealous tendency somehow translated to King Noah's choices. He presented the question of "As a parent what are my tendencies or focuses and how will they affect my children?"

Self Evaluation...Plus a Little More
What are our addictions, or overzealous behaviors that are causing or will cause our children to do what we do... plus a little more? Is it our physical addictions to substances, lack of religiosity or heavy handed treatment of our children? Is it our defiance of the law, obsession with physical appearance, disorganization or frivolous spending? If our children are to do what we do and a little more what would that look like?

The closer we are to the center, or when our lives are centered on Christ then hopefully the further our children will be to the outer edge of this circle. When we focus on improving ourselves we really do improve the possibilities for our children.

Again this is not to say that parents are responsible for all of their children's choices. Agency is part of our eternal identity and it is possible for exceptional parents to have children that stray. It's never okay to judge another's circumstance based on these assumptions but this is an opportunity for self reflection within our own parenting. As a principle I believe that it is possible that our children will do what we do-plus a little more. That our tendencies can turn into behaviors, beliefs and influences that greatly affect our children.

Just as my little 2 yr old took his splashing to an extreme after seeing the example of his older brother I have to ask myself "What examples are my children seeing in me. And what would that look like...plus a little more?"

3 Things I Would Tell My Daughter If I Had One...

I love my 5 boys and wouldn't trade any of them for a girl but I would love a little girl in addition to our family. Unfortunately, I now know that as I age the possibility of having or adopting a little girl is becoming more slim. With this realization comes a flood of tender emotions. One emotion that I feel is a sadness for not being able to teach or show my daughter her true value and worth. 

There are many messages attacking girls at this time and I feel like through a lot of heartache and experience I have learned who I am, my value and how to get through these messages. So to the daughter that I will never have I want to share a message:

I <3 Paul!

I absolutely love reading about Paul in the New Testament! He is so human and superhuman at the same time!

From my point of view here is a list of some of the cool things that he did. Some are pretty ironic to me and just strike me as funny, amazing or both! I smile the whole time when I read about Paul. He is someone that I would have loved to have known.

• He raised a young man from the dead who fell asleep and fell out of a window while listening to Paul preach.
• He was ship wrecked twice.

39 Acts of Service-- A Very Happy Birthday

Last Year I wrote a post about 38 acts of service, doing an act of service for every year of the age I was turning on my birthday. It was definitely something that I wanted to do again this year so I did it on my birthday!!!

I turned 39 years old and therefore set out to do 39 acts of service.

I told myself that theses had to be service opportunities that I normally wouldn't do in my day to day life. For example, as a mother it is easy to do service within my own household. I am constantly on the go and helping my little guys so I wanted to only count things that I did that were extra.

Last year, I prayed and asked that I would have people put into my path that needed help, love, encouragement or money. I had some incredible experiences. This year it was different and maybe a little less glamorous but still completely awesome and fulfilling!

Half Mom

My rebirth as a mother
When my first children, who were twins were born I was also reborn. With their entrance into the world a devotion and deep connection was born inside of me that I never knew was possible. I no longer lived for myself but within me grew and incredible yearning, love and protection for these little souls that now became the center of my universe.

And I will shew wonders in the Heavens Joel 2

For a long time I viewed people a bit skeptically who obsessed or talked about the last days or the second coming. I still am not ready to be gloomy or neglect my daily life because of these things but I am fascinated by all the prophecy's that seem to be unfolding before our eyes. I also choose to look to the positive as well as the negative. I choose "hope" and to press forward!

I love all the positive signs and blessings that are mixed in the with the more scary signs of the last days.

While waiting in the Payson temple and reading in the book of Joel in the Old Testament I came to scripture about the signs just before the second coming. I have read it before and have thought about it a lot but one part stuck out to me much differently this time.

"And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions:
And also upon the servant and upon the handmaids in those days will I pour out my spirit. An I will shew wonders in the heavens and in the earth, blood, and fire and pillars of smoke." Joel 2:28-31

I had always supposed that wonders in the heavens portion meant some type of event; possibly a meteor shower or something like that but immediately when I read the part that says "I will shew wonders in the heavens..." I thought of this picture.

A photograph taken by the Hubble Space Telescope of a nebula titled the Pillars of Creation

or these

The Butterfly Nebula: Hubble Telescope

Is it possible that the scripture in Joel wasn't talking about some event but rather the God inspired technology that we have invented which sends a robot with an incredibly strong telescope into space millions of miles away and takes pictures that are then sent to earth for us to enjoy? That we may view the birth, destruction and process of stars, galaxies and happenings millions of miles away. "And I will shew wonders in heavens..."

Just 100 years ago we could not have imagined this.

Nearly 3000 years ago, when the book of Joel was written, we could not have dreamed of what we would be seeing today.

There still could be some type of event like I mentioned since other scriptures state that the heavens shall be shaken and it could be a wrong assumption but I tend to think that our technology was foreseen, predicted and prophesied in some of these scriptures. Just a small thought.

WATCH

While reading Mark chapter 13 I was intrigued that the Savior ends teaching the apostles about the signs of the second coming with a final commandment to "Watch." He had been talking about the incredible wickedness and sorrow that would take place before his coming. He also talks about great affliction that had never been known to man since the creation; this is pretty significant considering the awful things witnessed throughout history.

Nation shall rise against nation
He is very specific about the signs that will come in this Chapter. One is that "Nation shall rise up against nation and kingdom against kingdom: there shall be earthquakes and divers places and there shall be famines and troubles; these are the beginnings of sorrows." (Mark 13:8).

This scripture also jumped out at me because the night before reading this chapter I had watched a documentary on World War II and the terrible tragedy and affliction that had come with that war. Talk about nation rising against nation and kingdom against kingdom. The historic casualty count of this war is unmatched in our worlds history. 9 million Jews, 24 million Soviets, 20 million Polish, 20 million Chinese, 5 million Germans and the list goes on. Over 60 million battle casualties with over 20 million casualties of postwar disease and famine; a world total of over 80 million men, women and children all loved children of God who suffered terrible death in this war. All because of one man. Again Mark 13:19 Talks about "An affliction such as was not from the beginning of creation which God created unto this time, neither shall be."

It is also important to mention the creation and first use of two atomic bombs dropped on a city of men, women and children in Japan killing 60-80 hundred thousand each time within an instant. This event changed our world and warfare as we know it. Talk about "earthquakes in divers places" and why that would have been such a significant event and thing for the Savior to add in that scripture, at that time right after he had just mentioned nation rising against nation. Also in Joel 2 we read about blood, fire and pillars of smoke. I don't think there is a pillar of smoke more feared upon the earth than that of an atomic boom and blood and fire is exactly what surrounds them. It makes sense to me that this world changing, war changine technology would be mentioned in the scriptures.

And this is the "beginning" of sorrows. It is interesting that after this scripture that nation shall rise against nation, is when he explains that the gospel shall be "published" to each nation. When Christ speaks about the end of the world he doesn't always speak chronologically but I believe he does here. I also believe, unlike others might, that the gospel "published" does not have to mean physical missionaries. I could be completely wrong and it is only a personal side thought but I think that even the internet getting into many homes across the world, with the ability to reach into nations that are closed to the gospel at this time may still be considered published. Who would have imagined this very significant, historical and world changing event "the creation of the internet". And I believe that Christ may be mentioning it here in the "gospel being published first among all nations" (Mark 13:10).  Who could have imagined that every nation across the world would have access to the gospel. Every word that Christ speaks is calculated. Every word.

A Hastening and a Ripening
I believe we are seeing both a Hastening and a Ripening. A Hastening of the work and a Ripening of wickedness. I will save most of these thoughts for another post but I have heard a lot about "the hastening" of the work with the change in missionary age. As far as ripening, I used to be skeptical that in the Book of Mormon there were groups of people that could become so wicked in the space of a very few years. I almost thought it was unrealistic to have such a change but I have definitely been proven wrong. I have seen more change and acceptance of wickedness in the last few years than I have in my entire lifetime.

An Answer
So why did that word "Watch" seem to awake me out of my reading and intrigue me in these verses? Because again it was an answer to my prayers of "What am I to do to change such a wicked world and the events that I am seeing unfold?" That simple word "Watch" meant to me that these things are supposed to happen and that even though I am doing my part to minimize these things I should watch, observe and take note.

In Mark 13 Christ shares the parable of the fig tree, an example that these people knew well since their calendars and timetables were often based on natural events around them. So this was something that they were very familiar with. When a fig tree puts forth leaves "ye know summer is near." (Mark 13:28) So in other words these things I have talked about are also signs that the season of Christ's coming is near. You don't know the exact day but you know that he is coming.

Sleep
With this word "Watch" two times in these verses Christ also uses a form of its antonym in a warning. That we not "Sleep". He tells us to watch "Lest coming suddenly he find you sleeping." (Mark 13:36) I find myself spiritually sleeping sometimes. I find that I try to turn these things off in my mind and live in excess and pride without considering how this will take a toll on my spirit. I am not saying to live in a isolated or not be a leaven to the world but it is easy to "sleep". The gospel is like pushing a round rock up the hill. If we aren't pushing forward spiritually we start to loose ground. The small and simple things of the gospel (scripture study and prayer) done every day are so important! These things allow for the spirit to whisper and guide us in our lives and in all that we do.

Along with the word "sleep" another scripture comes to mind about what sleep could mean.

And others will he pacify, and lull away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well--and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away "carefully" down to hell.

(2 Nephi 28:20-22)

So what does it mean to Watch. I think we can all search for our meaning individually. To me it means to not stress so much that I lose hope. That these things are not only meant to be; but they have been foretold. That I need to do my best to help this world but I also need to prepare and wait. Having these signs to watch for is a tender mercy by the Savior because we know that it is all in the plan and that good things are to come.

Additional thoughts

An additional thought is there are two more things that worry me in this chapter of Mark. 

 "And ye shall be hated of all men for my names sake: but he that shall endure to the end, the same shall be saved." He is of course talking to his apostles who will in a few years all be martyred but I can't help but think that this was one of those messages that they were passing on to us as well. We are already seeing an anti-religious movement and hatred growing and spreading online, in Hollywood and throughout the world. What will we see come of this? Will it get worse? We need to endure. 

Also it talks about the sun being darkened, the stars shall fall and the "heavens shall be shaken" (vs 24,25) Seeing how literal some of the previous verse events have become I can't help but wonder what this means and what possible planetary event we may witness. It could mean something simple like and eclipse or black smoke blocking our view but since I am a science junkie and I love astronomy I can't help but wonder what might be in store that will "shake the heavens".

Okay now it is time to end. I don't mean to sound negative, there are many positive events before the second coming as well but I will end this now in the same way that the Savior did as a reminder to myself ------"Watch".