Hey Imperfect Moms, Remember When Mary Lost Jesus?

Do you ever feel like you aren't meeting the mark as a mom or a dad? That you have these perfect little children that deserve so much better and why in the world did the Lord give them to you to watch over, protect and raise when you don't measure up?

I sometimes think that.

In fact, I left one of my kids camping the other day. Who leaves one of their kids at a camp site? Apparently I do.

It was only for a moment and to my credit he was an older child who was in the car and jumped out at the last moment after my final head count, before we took off, after I returned from grabbing one last thing. We actually all had a good laugh about it afterwards.

 After we figured it out and as we circled back to the camps site my brother in law, Kevin who was still there, remarked half jokingly "You don't want to leave Tanner, he is a good one."

The comment made me think of how Mary and Joseph must have felt when they thought they lost the Son of God.

Can you imagine losing the Son of God?

Can you imagine?!!!

The weight and loss and the worry that they had to endure for 3 days (a number with great significance) as they searched for their little boy? This responsibility was so great and uniquely theirs and they had seemed to fail. The fate of the world hinged on their imperfect hands and they had fallen short of their responsibility and sought him sorrowing.

They must have felt condemned like Joseph Smith did when he lost the manuscript...except much more.

When they finally found the child Jesus, he gives them a message that I believe is also valuable to us as imperfect parents today "Wist ye not that I must be about my father's business?"

God does not give his perfect children (they all start perfect), to perfect parents. 

Even when they are lost, broken, hurt, it is part of the "the Father's business." It is part of the plan. We are part of the plan.

Our imperfections and striving to overcome our imperfections while raising our children, beautify and amplify this experience.

"Behold this is my work and my Glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." Heavenly Fathers work isn't to make sure we have a cushy life, or a smooth sailing mortality, or that our kids do. That isn't his work. His work is to bring about our "immortality and eternal life" something that can only be brought to pass with a few rough edges, bruises and even lost kids.

It can happen when we learn to love another, one of God's children or our own children, so deeply as we love ourselves. As we watch others grow and care for them more than we care for ourselves. This is Charity.

Our children will get bumps and bruises along the way because we are on a ride together. We are imperfect and they are part of our ride. We try to protect them but we have to remember that even Mary and Joseph made mistakes and they were in charge of watching the Son of God.

Who are we to condemn anyone else when Mary and Joseph are the greatest mortal example in that God himself entrusted them with his son and even they fell short according to an outsiders standards in that they seemingly lost his child. In fact, if we are judging by how the kids turn out many parents in the scriptures fall short. It is an interesting phenomenon. Lehi, Zeniff, Mosiah, Alma. Even God the Father himself, an omniscient being, loses a third of his children. Why? because of agency. Being a parent doesn't mean you are a puppet master, being a parent means you are a guide.

Sometimes our children are lost, they get bruised, they get left, even when our hearts are right and we are doing our best. We need to remember that when we are doing our best it is all according our "Father's business." and part of the journey of mortality. We can take courage in that the most perfect of children even the Son of God was raised by imperfect parents.

How to Serve, when you are the one being served

My 5 yr old neighbor was recently diagnosed with leukemia. There have been many people that have volunteered to help and who have tried to ease the burdens of the family financially.

I have thought about them and how they must feel with the out pouring of love and how hard it is to accept help and generosity.

Today in relief society my other neighbor who lives across the street shared feelings that she had over the last year. She had a baby who was very sick and was in and out of Primary Children's Hospital. This little baby girl eventually died due to complications since birth. This neighbor talked about how difficult it was for her not to serve others during this time when she had all hands on deck, mentally, physically and spiritually. It was out of her capacity to serve. She did say how gratefully she was for the service she received. She wondered if anyone had any ideas of how to serve when you feel like you can't serve.

Sometimes our struggles are a gift to others
Now I know it sounds like a cliche but the truth is that sometimes our struggles are a gift to others and the greatest service we can give to others is to simply let them serve us.

Now hear my out.

The greatest thing we can acquire in this life is the attribute or charity. Charity isn't something we do, or give but it is something we become. The scriptures are clear "If ye have not charity, ye are nothing!" "Even if you give your body to be burned" (Wow really?! Burned PAul?! Ouch) But have not charity ye are nothing!

Now when we have a hardship and our story compels others to feel the pure love of Christ in so much that they initiate action to do a service of some kind for us that is a great thing indeed. When others are moved upon by the spirit to do a charitable work they become closer to God and become more like our Savior Jesus Christ and feel of this God like love. This gift is bestowed upon them. We help other obtain the gift of charity by letting them serve us in our time in need. This is a very unique service indeed.

What they receive is not a simple meal, or encouragement or the ability to make it one more day like they have given us. What we do give them is an opportunity to become more like God and gain access to eternal blessings that they may not obtain without experiences such as this.

When we humble ourselves to let others serve us- We are servants of the most high and take his place in the scriptures as he has said "When ye are in the service of the least of these ye are only in the service of your God." What a powerful thing.

Sometimes it is harder to be served than to serve but if we have the perspective that this is also Gods work in saving and changing souls than we can rest easier in seeing others sacrifice for our behalf. We never want to enforce service of course but if we accept it when it has come our way then we will be blessed.

Hate

My thoughts on Hate

*I found this snippet in my journal. I must have wrote it when I was feeling passionate about the subject. When rereading it I found it profound enough to share beyond my personal journal. I thought I would share.

The greatest lie of hate is that it takes on a limited form. We forget that hate is a mere mindset not a religion, political view, occupation, race or class. It is a skewed point of view that anyone can fall victim too at any moment. Whether we only see a persons skin color, race, occupation or political party, hate is the same and blinds us to see only one thing about them.

Whether we are looking out or looking in, hate is the same. The moment we use hate to preach against it, we become a hypocrite and the spawn of the very thing that we are fighting against and consequentially our words mean nothing.

To truly preach against hate you must only use love. If not you are as the "hateful" you despise who have gone before you- they become your father because their hate has created your hate. If you continue the cycle of hating, you have not risen above hate itself. It is very possible to shine light within the darkness, to live with light even when hate is all around.

Within us is the ability to surpass our anger and look deep within others, see their humanity and look past their folly. We are all children together under the same purpose. It is possible to be separate in thought but still be of one heart.

Rise above the need to hate someone. When we do this we live on a higher plane of moral existence and expand our capacity for personal growth.

To hate those who hate you will only limit your potential but to love those that hate you will break the chains of an evil cycle and frees not only our thoughts, but our souls.