3 Things I Would Tell My Daughter If I Had One...

I love my 5 boys and wouldn't trade any of them for a girl but I would love a little girl in addition to our family. Unfortunately, I now know that as I age the possibility of having or adopting a little girl is becoming more slim. With this realization comes a flood of tender emotions. One emotion that I feel is a sadness for not being able to teach or show my daughter her true value and worth. 

There are many messages attacking girls at this time and I feel like through a lot of heartache and experience I have learned who I am, my value and how to get through these messages. So to the daughter that I will never have I want to share a message:

1- Discard What Others Think is Beauty

• Your body is an instrument to do great things, not an ornament to be seen by others.
• Your greatest masterpiece will not be your body or your beauty but it will be what you do with who you are as a person.
• Do not base your value on what others perceive is beauty. Do not hold yourself to their superficial and fleeting standards. Make your own standards and stick closely to them. 
• Your beauty is defined by how you edify those around you and bring them higher not on how you elevate your self. True beauty is found in kindness, charity and confidence. 

2- Find Someone Good

• Don't dress immodestly. Do not bring attention to any area of your body more than your soul. Attract the type of man that will be faithful to you. A young man that values his God more than he values his own appetites. He is out there and will be looking for his match in values and character. Be that match!
• Find a man that is kind, honorable and respectful. Find someone who is comfortable with himself so that he never feels that he needs to bring you down in order to make himself feel better.
• Never look at others especially boys or men as a way to make you feel better about yourself. Only look to them as partner to obtain greater goals together. 

3- Always Become Better

• Life is a journey to discover our pathway, to discover our talents and how to use them for good.
• Get as much education as you can. Be goal oriented. Always start with a plan and modify it when needed. Move forward obtain as much learning as you can. 
• Never be mean, never gossip. Be a friend, be loyal and be kind.
• Don't let others cheat you into thinking that motherhood has no value or worth or even that it is somehow the easy way. It isn't easy but there is no calling so divine. It isn't for the faint of heart but there is nothing in this world that can transform you into something more glorious. There is nothing that compares to its ability to expand your capacity to love and to understand. There is nothing that will bring you closer to the love of God.
• Learn how to work hard. Many people are talented but to be both hardworking and talented is rare and is the makings of an expert. You can be the expert in something. You were packaged with talents, tendencies and skills. Develop them and use them for good. 
• Learn to look past stereotypes and generalizations of others. Look for the light in them and gravitate towards those who hold it most.
• Read the scriptures and pray every day. Treasure up the word of God, by it you can learn all things. The greatest pathway to happiness is laid one brick at a time. One study session at a time. "By small and simple things great things shall come to pass."
• Study the life of the Savior. 
• Don't forget to be still.

I am so grateful to finally learn these things about myself. What a different world we would live in if every little girl was taught the true nature of their worth and how harmful it is when they are taught through media messages that their only value is to be looked at. So instead of being able to teach a daughter these things I am hopefully teaching these things to my boys. 

A special thanks to BeautyRedefined whose goal is to teach some of these ideas to girls.