Words of Advice to Cancer Families

I went through an old blog this past weekend and found an unpublished post from over 9 Years ago. After reading this post, I felt like it did need to be published so here it is.
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Aug 2008
As I was running the other day I had thoughts about my dad's battle with cancer. It became our battle as our family prayed and waded through that time with him.

It is something that you would never wish on anyone but something you wish everyone understood.

I thought about the hours on my knees as I watched my hero grow weak. It is true that if we are willing and humble in our sorrow we come to know Heavenly Father and the plan that he has and our purpose in this mortality.

I recently talked to a friend who has a family member who is undergoing treatments. The statistics are good for his type of cancer and recovery is within reach.

In a way cancer can be a blessing to those who recover. To those who have walked in the shadow of death it can lead to deepened understanding to enjoy life in a much richer, enlightened sense.

I pondered what I should say to others who were facing the battle that I once faced with someone that I loved.

It would be this:

Don't avoid the "lasts", and treat every occasion and day like the last. Drink it up and memorize every moment. I felt ashamed at times when I wanted to bring out the camacorder (that will tell you how old this post is) or talk about things because I didn't want to seem like I had lost hope. But the times that I pushed past that feeling are those that I am most greatful for.

I am greatful for the moments when I did talk about death with my dad. I found that after the time came when the mortal barrier was crossed, I repeated every word in my mind from him from those conversations. I am greatful that my sister pushed past that feeling, of not wanting to show loss of hope, and insisted on family pictures. Now we all cherish those. I wish I would have had him write a little note to my children, something that they could have from their grandpa that was intended just for them.

I believe that preparation does not deter hope or faith rather it strengthens it and shows the Lord that we have faith in his judgement and that we are agents unto ourselves. It is a win, win situation to savor the goodbyes and to document those occasions that may be the last. If a person who is facing death prepares for death but beats their illness, they get to still benefit greatly from the fruits of their preparation. And they will get the blessing of the sweetness of getting a second chance after their preparation for death. And if death does come they are more, even if only a little, at peace when their sickness has its greatest fury knowing that they have spoke their love to family and friends.