I was driving out of the church parking lot in my car after the event and I cried out in part prayer, part complaint "Why does this have to be so hard?". I hadn't even taken a breath, and I mean that literally, when my car turned to face a house that sits out in front of the church. A woman sat in the window. She was bald, and sick. She wasn't facing the road but was sitting in the warm sunshine of the window. I have seen her husband caring for her in the past and pushing her in a wheelchair but I had forgotten about her.
In that moment my throat was still closed from my last uttered sentence of "Why does it have to be so hard?" I sat looking at her. My hands gripped the steering wheel of my car and she sat in plain view in front of me.
In that moment my throat was still closed from my last uttered sentence of "Why does it have to be so hard?" I sat looking at her. My hands gripped the steering wheel of my car and she sat in plain view in front of me.
I don't know her but I know of her. She is in my stake, a young mom fighting for her life against cancer. The heavens could have opened and sent either a lightening bolt or a bucket of ice water and it would have not gotten my attention and or the stab of pure regret from my words like I felt from this humble moment seeing this daughter of God and stealing only a glimpse of her "hard".
It was a reprimand. Straight from a loving Father, who watches and knows what "hard" is.
This week I have pondered "hard". I have pondered why people have certain trials. And this morning in my prayers and reading this scripture it seemed to relay peace to my soul. Normally I would have skipped right over it but for some reason the two sentences beginning to the end and accomplishing his works stuck out to me.
Nephi 9:6 "But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words. And thus it is.
Amen."
He knows all things from the beginning to the end. He knows our hard.
His Son knows our hard. He suffered them too. A silent passenger to our sorrow, guilt, regret and pain.
Life's lessons were meant to be hard, back breaking and stretching. In our hard we are mended. In our hard we are reborn and created.
****
It has been several weeks since I wrote this post. I never published it until now out of respect for the privacy of this young mom who I still never knew personally.
I found out she passed away yesterday. Her brilliant mortal light has gone out.
I did decided to publish this post today in honor of her memory.
It goes to show that you never know who you can impact.
For example this woman helped to mend the breaking heart of me a stranger by simply sitting by her window enjoying the light. She put into perspective my hard.
Nephi 9:6 "But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words. And thus it is.
Amen."
He knows all things from the beginning to the end. He knows our hard.
His Son knows our hard. He suffered them too. A silent passenger to our sorrow, guilt, regret and pain.
Life's lessons were meant to be hard, back breaking and stretching. In our hard we are mended. In our hard we are reborn and created.
****
It has been several weeks since I wrote this post. I never published it until now out of respect for the privacy of this young mom who I still never knew personally.
I found out she passed away yesterday. Her brilliant mortal light has gone out.
I did decided to publish this post today in honor of her memory.
It goes to show that you never know who you can impact.
For example this woman helped to mend the breaking heart of me a stranger by simply sitting by her window enjoying the light. She put into perspective my hard.
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