Like most teenager girls when I was younger I worried about my appearance. I often fussed with my makeup and hair and tried to cover up flaws. In the process of getting ready for the day I found that I had two different mirrors in my house. A "good" mirror and a "bad" mirror. One mirror was more flattering in its lighting while the other seemed to highlight flaws instead of minimize them. So I did what I thought any other teenage girl would do. I always chose to look in the bad mirror. I wanted to see the flaws that everyone else could see.
I was surprised one day when a friend came over. I told her how I would apply my makeup in front of the bad mirror so that I knew what every one could see. She shrugged her shoulders and nonchalantly told me she had two similar mirrors at her house but she got ready in the good mirror since it showed her best self. I realized that I could be the same person with the same strengths and flaws but have a different outlook about myself depending on what I focused on. I now tell my kids that everyday they can either choose to live in a castle or a dungeon. Their day will be the same no matter what but their perspective and what they choose to focus on and think about can make the difference on how happy they are.
The memory of this conversation of the two mirrors has returned to me again and again in my life and has become a guide about what social mirrors I chose to spend my time looking into. I have let this idea of these two mirrors guide my decisions about what magazines I look at, shows I watch and what social media I use and what they tell me about myself. These magazines, television shows may not talk about me directly but they often portray how the "perfect" woman acts, looks and thinks.
Also knowing about these mirrors helps me build a social filter. I have come to realize that there will always be some who will chose to see others in a negative light. No matter how hard one tries or how good a person may be there will be people out there, because of their own insecurities, that will lay in wait for opportunities to categorize others including me. I can't let those voices tell me what kind of mother, wife, woman and person I am.
It is also true that there are others who view me in a better light. Who will look past my weaknesses and focus on my strengths. So I have a choice. I can turn my attention in either one direction or another. I can focus on the reflection of the one end of society who will choose to judge me and cut me down or I can look at the reflection of myself that is doing my best. Either way I will continue to exist but my perception of myself and my thoughts about myself will change depending which mirror I look into.
I have followed this advice for sometime until I realized that there is more than "meets the eye" to this story. Even though this post is titled the tale of two mirrors there is a third perspective. It is not a reflection but it is actually who we are. God knows us. He knows the good and the bad and sees our potential. I know I talk a lot in my posts about Charity and this post is no exception. Charity is the pure Love of Christ, the Love of God. Heavenly Father knows us as WE ARE. His love for us is pure. We are loved by him, we are understood by him. If we could only see ourselves through this love, and sample this love (as do the people in Lehi's dream) our understanding of ourselves becomes great. If we can turn away and not heed or give attention to society's mirror for us we will know our worth. I love the scripture in Corinthians that talks about looking into a glass darkly.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
I understand this scripture as saying that we see a version of our self only knowing part of who we are but then we will come to understand how we are "known" by God. It is interesting that in this chapter, both the scriptures before and after are all about charity (the pure love of God).
So I realize I have been trying to look into societies good mirror of me but that isn't really me either. The me who is here is a daughter of God. A person of infinite worth and value, who is imperfect in numerous ways but my potential is great. To get a taste of knowing myself as I am known is an incredible gift.
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