Overcoming Personal Apostasy

A stumbling block for Sariah

I have been thinking a lot about Sariah lately and the struggles that she went through.

In the past I thought of her lightly and even a bit judgingly as she questioned Lehi, the prophet and his visions and the guidance that he had received. But now as I have examined her situation my respect for this woman has grown immensely as I consider her vital role in saving her posterity from bondage and death and traveling to the promised land.

Her greatest struggle in the beginning turned out to be what solidified her faith to endure what was needed in order to truly save herself and her family and lead them to an amazing physical and spiritual inheritance. She would later have children in the wilderness, endure starvation and almost die because of the neglect and hardness of the hearts of her Elder sons but her faith and resolve landed her family in the promised land.

I can relate to Sariah. I have had several questions that have made me stop reflect and search for answers. Recent events have weighed on my heart and my mind to the point where I couldn't sleep or rest. I have found much refuge and peace in literally hours upon hours of scripture study and prayer. But in this struggle I feel that my faith has been solidified. I have no doubt about the guidance of the Savior Jesus Christ himself in this church and I have a clear understanding of how I am to proceed in my life and put my faith and trust in the Savior and in the Priesthood as it currently is upon the earth.

We don't know for sure but at first Sariah seemed to obediently follow Lehi's counsel to leave Jerusalem. This wasn't an easy decision. It cost her home, friends, family and all of her possessions but when she was faced by the possible demise of her sons when they didn't return from Jerusalem, something extremely important to her, she questioned the power by which Lehi received his guidance. She just needed to know for herself and couldn't rely completely on someone else. When revelations are received for the church I believed they are received twice. Once to the leadership of the church and again individually in our hearts. After all, we are told that by the mouth of two or three witness we will know things. I think this personally may apply here as well. She knew her sons were returning to Jerusalem and understood the difficulty of their task. Remember this was a very wicked time among this people. They would soon be destroyed for their wickedness. She must have known the wickedness of Laban and his merciless ability to kill and take other's possessions. She must have known the greatness of the men that he commanded. She put her faith in the Lord as her sons left but when they did not return as planned or in the timely manner she faced a great struggle of faith. 

She called Lehi a "visionary man" who tried to comfort her and tell her in his own way "You are right, I am a visionary man, and if I weren't then we would have been killed at home.". When her son's returned and most likely after Nephi shared his account with her she rejoiced and "knew of a surety" of the Lord's counsel to leave Jerusalem. Sariah remained a team player, She is even often referred to by Nephi in their journey. Her part was invaluable and unique to her. Because of her, her family was saved and made it to the promised land.

A personal and individual testimony comes in its own way unique to us

Her story reminds me of Nathaniel in the New Testament. The first time he met Christ, the Savior said "Here comes Nathaniel, he who is without guile." This took Nathaniel off guard, he had never met Jesus face to face before. In fact, when Philip called Nathaleal to "come see" Jesus, Nathaneal said "Can anything good come out of Nazareth?" So when Christ addressed Nathanael and possibly told him a key characteristic that Nathaneal possessed it astonished Nathanael and he said "How do you know me?" the Savior answered "Because before Philip called to you, I saw you, under the fig tree." We don't know what Nathaniel was doing under the tree but I love this scripture because it shows how personal the workings of the spirit can be. It meant something to Nathaneal and taught him that Christ was the truely the Son of God while only meeting him seconds before.  I  call this a "Nathanael moment" an experience of deep personal revelation that was kept between him and the Lord that would solidify his resolve to follow the Savior through thick and thin and help him in his office as he later became one of Christ's apostles. He could have been pondering the words of God or simply asking a question or some other experience under the fig tree. Either way the Savior saw him, I tend to think it was spiritually instead of physically but in some way this answered an eternal question for Nathanael. (John 1:47-52)

The Savior knows what we need, he knows how to answer us and how to answer us in a way that makes sense to us individually. It is through fervent scripture study and prayer, without guile that we can find the truth.

Overcoming deception through the word of God (It's promised!)

When I was younger I was reading about the apostasy of earlier members of the church. Knowing that some of these people had seen great things. While reading this I considered myself and my weakness. I was 16. At that moment I felt so close to the spirit and that I never wanted that feeling to depart. If these great men and women had gone astray after much sacrifice and revelation then what was to keep me, a simple girl who was very subject to the influences around me, to not be led astray as well. After much heartfelt prayer and study I read a scripture in Joseph Smith Matthew "He who treasureth up my word shall not be deceived." I thought about this scripture, over and over again. As if examining something in my hands and turning it over and over again. Thinking about it from every angle and every view. At this time the answer spoke sweetly to my mind. If I studied the scriptures daily and treasured their message in my life and applied them then I would be not be deceived. It was a promise! I could be able to identify deception by the scriptures. It was one of my "Nathaneal moments". An answer that came in the form of scriptures that had been written hundreds of years earlier and came in the exact moment and way that I needed them.

There are so many false ideas out there right now that are popular and "seem good" but just aren't right.

In this story there was a man who went about preaching things that were pleasing to popular society. He taught that there was no God and that people could do what they wanted and that there were no boundaries. Everything that he taught was pleasing to the carnal mind. He also taught that church leaders were oppressive and only trying to "usurb power and authority over the people". It is interesting to me that the scripture mentions that he led many "women and also men" away. I am not exactly sure why women were mentioned first in this scripture but it seems interesting. (Alma 30:18) Because of this man's teachings many were led away from the truth and lost blessings.

In this own man's words he describes what he taught this people.

...I do not teach the foolish traditions of your fathers, and because I do not teach this people to bind themselves down under the foolish ordinances and performances which are laid down by ancient priests, to usurp power and authority over them, to keep them in ignorance, that they may not lift up their heads, but be brought down according to thy words.

24 Ye say that this people is a free people. Behold, I say they are in bondage. Ye say that those ancient prophecies are true. Behold, I say that ye do not know that they are true...

Sound similar? When this man was taken before the chief judge Alma (their society was also governed by their religion at this time) He asked for a sign. He persisted over and over again for a sign. In response the prophet told him he would be struck dumb as a sign. He was miraculously struck dumb and unable to speak. This sign was given in response to his own question. This man's consequence was ironic to me. A smooth talking eloquent man who had the gift to lead others away by his speech but he was struck without the ability to speak.

Deceptive Angels of Light

This man wanted this "curse" as he called it which he admitted that "he had brought upon himself" to be taken from him and he then wrote to the prophet saying.

53 But behold, the devil hath deceived me; for he appeared unto me in the form of an angel, and said unto me: Go and reclaim this people, for they have all gone astray after an unknown God. And he said unto me: There is no God; yea, and he taught me that which I should say. And I have taught his words; and I taught them because they were pleasing unto the carnal mind; and I taught them, even until I had much success, insomuch that I verily believed that they were true; and for this cause I withstood the truth, even until I have brought this great curse upon me.

This man had the devil in the "form of an angel" appear to him and told him what to teach. He knew that what he was teaching was wrong but at some point he "withstood the truth" because of the popularity of it all. He had much success insomuch that he "believed that they were true." Pride took over.

This is where my personal answer about these things has come in. All of my questions that I have had about some of these popular ideas have been answered by this story. There are many ideas right now that appear to us as angel's of light but are Satan in disguise. Ideas which seem to be fundamentally good but when taken out of context and when taken to extremes they are actually wrong and go against the plan that has been set out since the beginning or our time. Tolerance, acceptance, the roles of a woman. These are all holy and fundamentally principles of light but when taken to extremes these ideas can be harmful to society and to our spirits as well. These things have been used to try to destroy the family, the fundamental unity of society and when this happens all of the foretold calamities of prophets shall come down upon us. (Family Proclamation)

The priesthood is a very good and a Holy tool of service. Woman are choice unto the Lord and loved by the Lord. One thing that is greater than the power to move mountains, to prophecy, or even raise the dead is the power of charity. We are told that repeatedly in the scriptures. We cannot enter the Kingdom of God with out it. It is ironic that we completely lose this power and gift (which is considered the greatest gift of all) when we let "ravenous wolves" enter in among us and seek for what we consider "authority" instead of seeking for tools of service. For if the Lord had commanded us to do some great thing, wouldn't we have done it?

There are reasons behind many of the revelations that we are given in our day. They are reasons that we can only understand by "inquiring of the Lord." (1 Nephi 15:2-3) This allows us to have these Nathanael moments which will help us become like Sariah and solidify our faith to overcome the trials of our journey. For those of us that have been shocked by the "falling away" of recent events my guess is we haven't seen "anything yet" the events that will come would lead the very elect away if the events were not shortened. So let us treasure up his words so that we can not be deceived in this day and humbly follow the prophets counsel without guile and with the pure love of Christ.